Plate o' Shrimp

Lest you think medical training is romantic.....

2009-04-22T21:27:00.002-04:00

The medical student break room. Smells like stale cheese and unwashed carpet. And this is the nice hospital where the locker isn't the trunk of your car...

Well....

2009-04-19T13:22:00.000-04:00

After I was asked twice and nicely I have given in and joined twitter.
I hope this isn’t the death knell for the blog, although it has taken quite a hit since I communicate so much via facebook… Twitter is so much less commitment, and gratification so much more instant. Not that I need more instant gratification in my life. I just finished up OB/GYN and start Pediatrics… on Monday. I have been celebrating by, among other things, sitting in the sun and drinking margaritas and bowling three games and not breaking 100 in any game. Seriously, our president could give me some tips.
I am now officially 6 week from finishing my core clerkship rotations and half way through the 80 weeks of clinical clerkship that comprise the last two years of medical school. I am starting the long and somewhat onerous process of applying for the national residency match and I am gearing up to take my next round of medical licensing exams in August (This round costs $1000 to take the exam) Trying to write my personal statement, one of those grotesque sum up your life and sell yourself and prove that you will be the best resident since wonder woman ditched her lasso and invisible plain for a career in medicine all in 500 words or less, has drummed much of the desire to write clear out of me. And yet I persevere.

Life is busy and very good. Obstetric and Gynecology was what I had hoped all my clerkships would be like. I had attending preceptors who were dedicated to teaching and who taught without belittling. I had residents who took the time to teach and didn’t treat me like I was a burden. And the fact that I was upfront about the fact I did not want to go into OB/GYN did not diminish the residents and attendings respect for me or their willingness to teach. My roommate and friend Len did his pediatrics core where I am going and enjoyed it immensely.
I am definitely more comfortable with my exam skills and looking forward to the autonomy afforded to a fourth year medical student. It feels good, I feel like I am doing good, and I like what I see coming down the road for me professionally. Who could ask for more?

2009-02-27T17:54:00.001-04:00

Where the patient right to know information ... (as in the patient's right to know what is in his or her record) is kept under lock and key...

Okay I had been dreading this one a bit, but the resident in charge was incredibly passionate about teaching which helped mitigate the fact that the residency director was overly formal and restrictive in his teaching. And there was lots of devestating pathology to be seen. Important things to learn. It is not the fluff core of third year some people make it out to be, but the hours were sure better than surgery!

Happiness and Joy

2008-12-16T18:44:00.004-04:00

Gentle Readers;

Have you heard? Happiness is contagious!
I admit to being a little surprised by some of the feedback on my recent posts. Surgery was intense. Medicine, not without it's bumps but much better. But I don't remember feeling like I was suffering. I was intensely frustrated in medicine by some of my classmates negativity. Luckily for me, I was befriend by a fourth year medical student who was interested in medicine and who had a work ethic. She told me about her experience in her third year medicine clerkship, and how frustrated she was by the negativity around her and how depressing she found it to be around negative people. So I started spending less time around the folks who weren't happy where they are and more time with people like my fourth year friend who were. When I first got to the hospital I felt comforted by being in a big group of student, now I have found my peace and my place on my own. I feel my personal and professional confidence growing. I know I am on the right career path. It is a good place to be.

My cardiology elective was fantastic. I worked with an attending who was devoted to teaching and encouraged his student to think. He taught rigorously without condescension. I rounded with students and residents who wanted to be there, and I can tell you it was much easier to be happy. And charged up. I have to say, I have an intellectual crush on cardiology right now. It is very cool.

City Fun

2008-12-07T10:02:00.011-04:00

In between thanksgiving in Bay Head with the Waterburys and my brother's graduation in Knoxville, I spent a throughly lovely day with Larissa in New York

Any day that includes playing with yarn in a cute little french patisserie in the Village is a good day.

The day actually started with quality time at the Great Jones Spa, where Larissa and I both let go of our stress in the jacuzzi, sauna and steam room as well as getting fabulous massages. We then wandered around Soho for a bit, and had a PITCHER of sangria and great tapas for lunch.

Larissa proved to be an adept subway pathfinder, always pointing me patiently in the right direction after we emerged and not mocking me at all when I unerringly insisted time and again that we set off in the wrong direction. I will admit to feeling extra cool when someone asked me for directions in Soho.. obviously mistaking me for a city dweller. I am just that cool. Luckily Larissa was again able to point the stranger in the right direction... making her super cool. But we already knew that.. She is seen here dealing with a stray animal cracker that was found in her pocket while waiting for a downtown train. The threat posed by said animal cracker has indeed been neutralized.

OR......

2008-12-02T16:10:00.001-04:00

This actually is a pretty good depiction of what surgery was like for me....
Scutt Monkey Surgery

Q & A

2008-10-23T18:02:00.009-04:00

Q: So why so long no post...?
A: Medical school blah blah blah b;ah busy blah blah blah.... The truth is I have been tired. My summer finally caught up with me. The stress of moving here, Shade last month and her passing, my Mom's health, the totallled car, and the long surgery hours all took their tool long distance. I am at the hospital less hours, and the hours there are happier. But I have needed to process a fair amount I couldn't afford to process in June july and August. When I say process I mean sleep 8 hours a night, watch Chuck, Fringe, Pushing Daisies, Life on Mars, True Blood, The Daily Show and Sara Conner Chronicles. I also have been spending a fair amount of time with my crochet hook and blogging on Ravelry. Just so we are clear.

Q: Weren't you going to write about your surgery experience?
A: Yup. So many things to write.. And there needs to be a separate log entry for any prospective SGU student or current SGU student who happens across this blog......
But if there was a pivotal moment for surgery it was the moment I sat down with Sara and a bunch of the residents for lunch and I realized I was missing something. I walked away with her and found out that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer, and that the man I like to think of as Mr. Surgeon Man was going to be the one to do her surgery. Now Mr. Surgeon man in many ways embodies all that I disliked surgery. He believes it seems that the take down is the best teaching method. It makes him happy to see a student/intern/ senior resident run ragged by a line of questioning he has provided until the person in question has forgotten everything he or she ever knew... including their own name. He finds their discomfort amusing it seems or at the very least it makes him smile.

In this I am better than you are surgical culture, I took comfort from learning from and scrubbing with the trail blazer, a female breast surgeon who at 70 had and continued to have a remarkable career. She was open, revealing, a generous teacher, and took more care in her surgeries to prevent post operative pain than anyone I had scrubbed with. When I asked Sara why she wasn't getting her surgery from the trail blazer her answer was simple: the trail blazer didn't take her insurance and required significant cash upfront.

One of the nicest surgeons I scrubbed with spent his days doing gastric bypass surgery, a specialty I had considered money grubbing. Patients who have these surgeries gain a significantly reduced mortality, one of the highest I have ever seen for any procedure. There were layers beyond layers. Personally it was a excruciatingly hard summer. My Mom's health delicate, Shade taking her last bow, my car getting totaled. And the East Coast just isn't my country.. isn't home. But every surgery I scrubbed in on was an undeniable privilege, every body whether relatively healthy or full of pathology was a marvel. I wish I had been more present for the experience. I wish I had more to bring with me. It is was not and is not my home, but it was an incredible experience.

Q: So how do you like medicine?
A: Medicine is home, and I feel more at home in the hospital where I am doing my medicine clerkship. It is an inner city hospital. There are a lot of people with multiple pathologies, a lot of people who really need good care. Everyday there is a new puzzle to solve, and there is time for me to solve it. And as a student I get lots of time with patients, to get to know them and their stories. Medicine may be home but I am not sure New Jersey is, but I would be sorely tempted if I was to be offered a residency at the hospital I did my internal medicine clerkship at.

Q: If New Jersey isn't home what is it? Where is home then? What is wrong with New Jersey?
A: That is a very good question. I most often refer to New Mexico as home but don't see myself moving there. I used to say home is where my dog is but I am now pet free. California feels like home in a way but it has been a couple of decades since I lived there. There is nothing wrong with New Jersey per say, it's just that living here reminds me that I am a westerner at heart.... less concerned with certain elements of style, more concerned with tree hugging, latte drinking, organic food, alternative art forms, and crocheting cozies for the revolution.

Q: Wait, aren't you almost done with medicine. If you liked it so much why not write more?
A: I am in fact done with medicine as of last week and I start a two week cardiology elective today. I hope in fact to write more about where I am and where I am going, but I realized that I needed to post this long simmering Q & A before I started another rotation...

Q: So can we expect more regular post from now on?
A: I will try, but I have been seduced by both facebook and ravelry.. so no guarantees.

According to Doctor S_

2008-10-18T21:02:00.001-04:00

The only two reasons not to do a rectal exam:
1) No finger
2) No rectum

Komen Race for the Cure

2008-09-16T21:08:00.012-04:00

My thanks to all of you who helped support my participation in the New York City Susan G Komen Race for the Cure on September 14, 2008. I surpassed my original goal and raised over $600 for the Susan G Komen Foundation. It was a beautiful and muggy day in New York and it was great to be walking with so many of my classmates. Pictured in the pink shirt is my classmate Sara who was diagnosed with breast cancer last month, and we walked in her honor. She was a real trooper, fighting nausea from the chemo she had the Thursday before and remarking that her hair was now coming out in clumps. It was great to see her on the steps with all the other survivors, fighting the good fight.

2008-09-15T18:45:00.001-04:00

"The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day."
David Foster Wallace

This world will sadly miss his insight...

Postcards from Palo Alto

2008-09-04T00:08:00.004-04:00

The fashionable scruffy young men who apparently slept in their shiny black lexus overnight… not really Palo Alto homeless.
The new trendy restaurant on University that is too trendy to have a name or menu posted outside. Everyone inside talking on their iphones rather than to the people they are with.

Michael says “I’m in” for the New Zealand trek in 2014. Just typing 2014 is very strange… I look forward to my Medicine rotation and time to do something outside the hospital other than sleep, time to get back to the training that will keep me in shape for the New Zealand Fijords…

Walking to Peets every morning where they sell coffee in the curious sizes of small, medium and large.

Keplers.. O Keplers! Where I bought my first Jane Austen, Laura Ingals Wilder, Willa Cather. The muse of my country….. (see my senior thesis for a complete explanation…..)

My mother using the new verb “to yelp…” as in the website, not the exclamation

Not having to explain my verbs to Michael and Sylvia… Sylvia always there for me .. at the airport, checking in on Mom at the hospital when I can’t. Finding her own joy, her own meaning in these favors I ask of her.. Friendships old and vital and as comfortable as a twenty year old shirt.

Tesla motors taking over the old Cadillac dealership and selling their $100,00 electric sports car.

Missing Gina on the phone, screaming 5 times over “I’m sleeping” and realizing, chagrined, if I was screaming I wasn’t actually sleeping.

Missing Gina this time, catch you next time love….

Red Mango, Matcha frozen yogurt with fresh mangos. If this is what it means to be a corporate tool sign me up…..

Nail salons gradually replacing the rug galleries in downtown Palo Alto signifying a shift toward????

Finishing Baby Nora’s baby hoodie finally… my crocheter’s fear of sewing with yarn no longer owns me!

The fashionable new restaurant has a name! Joya. Argentinian Tapas, (because apparently Spanish tapas are too passé for Palo alto…) Red Sangria is not to be found, but white is, Malbecs are favored on the wine list, seared Spanish sausages are cold but the Halibut is a revelation.

Last days of summer on the peninsula, oak leaves coated thick with summer dust filtering the slanted light, warm brown hills rise above the bay.. Eucalyptus, part of my peninsula childhood and an invader from oversees. Like many immigrants it is too successful here for the jealous earlier arrivals.

Mom on the mend but maybe not quite there. A plane in my future tomorrow. I am once again pulled in two directions, west and east, with a longing backward glance south to New Mexico. Grateful that it is such good friends that pull me apart, happy to have made the journey, feeling the bittersweet of another leave taking.

Post Cards from New Mexico

2008-08-29T12:19:00.005-04:00

My instant Gratitude for the hot dry air as I stepped off the plane

Driving up I-25 doing 75 mph as god intended (the speed limit I might add) blue blue sky above me, Sandias mountains on my right, the Jemez on my left in the distance and the whole desert opening up before me. Some part of me that had been closed and tight inside me opened up a little.

Breakfast at the range in Bernallio. Chai "freshly squeezed from an organic hippie" and Huevos con queso. Side of green chile I dumped on EVERYTHING. Strong coffee in a bright red fiestaware cup.

Serena's lovely Santa Fe home, Kodi the cat stalking sunflowers. Squash blossoms stuffed with goat cheese and lovingly fried in olive oil. Apricot almond upside down cake and Viognier. Rain beating down from the big open sky and the smell of sage and wet sand flowing through the house after the storm.

Walking under the aspens in big Tesuque in the wet bright morning. Say something funny I said, Penis she said. No photos with straight faces taken after that

Fall in northern New Mexico. Asters, sunflowers, growing like weeds by the side of the road

The busiest woman at SFCC wanted to talk about writing and the books in her head with no time to get out. My emails proclaim that I continue with equal interest in the poem and in medicine but I wonder where all my lost poems have been.

New Mexico lamb and misremembered gnocchi with Shell Bell and Bruci an evening of happy misremembering.

So I ask Colleen, how is our old friend Katrina these days...? She is known as Clarity now, Colleen tells me.

So, Colleen asks me, how is our old friend Shelley? She is known as Serena now I tell Colleen.

"You said our governor when speaking of Bill Richardson" Lisa delightedly informs me, jumping up and down in place a little... "that must mean you still think of yourself as a New Mexican.... "true" I reply, " but mostly because thinking of Schwarzenegger as 'my governor' makes me want to bathe... and I don't even know the name to the governor of New Jersey

Status Update.....

2008-08-29T11:21:00.003-04:00

Big post about my surgery rotation brewing but in the mean time..

I am done with surgery, have two weeks off, which I am using to visit the west.. New Mexico and Northern California specifically.

As some of you know my Mom has had some significant health scares of late. She had what appears to be a toxic reaction to a cardiac medication that landed her in the cardiac ICU about a month ago. So this is my second trip to California in less than a month. She recovered well enough to have spinal surgery about a week ago that had been scheduled before her cardiac event. I am in Palo Alto to help. She is recovering well. She has only called me Nurse Ratchet once.

The weekend before I finished up Surgery I was rear ended by a teenager in her Daddy's Audi while I was on my way to get a coffee at Starbucks so I could wake up enough to study for my surgery final. My perfect new to me but old to everyone else '95 Nissan Sentra was totaled, but no one was hurt in the accident. The insurance company will be buying me a new old car. I feel like I should issue some sort of disclaimer, no really, my life usually is not full of so much chaos. But as Len reminded me.. bad new comes in threes and now I have had my three.. it should be smooth sailing from here on out...

I will be at a new hospital in early September when I start back, this one with a more urban population. I will be starting internal medicine.. and I am looking forward to it. This is the big split in the medical world.. medicine vs. surgery-- and I have always been reasonably sure I wanted medicine. It feels a little like starting over .. beginning again with what is really important.

These are some of the facts.. Real stories to come.

Save the date: January 15, 2014

2008-08-21T21:51:00.002-04:00

Yup I am done with surgery. The road has been a little rocky, but in the end I know that medicine is indeed my professional home. I owe you all a nig post.. and it is coming

In the mean time I want to invite you to join me for my 50th birthday.. which is a little more than 5 years away. But I am celebrating by doing something that takes some saving for so I am giving you all notice. Can't buy the tickets for you.. but this is where I am going.

Think about it. I'll be making reservations about a year in advance.

Check out my plans here:

http://www.ultimatehikes.co.nz/uh_home.asp

2008-06-29T14:23:00.001-04:00

I said goodbye to Shade yesterday. She had been diagnosed with cancer in her urethra about a year ago and although she had some good luck with treatment it finally got the best of her. I was able to have the vet come out here to the house and she went very peacefully in her own bed with me whispering my love to her in her ear.

Woo hoo!

2008-05-28T21:08:00.002-04:00

I have malpractice insurance.. makes me feel all sorts of official.. :-)

And the winner is...

2008-05-27T21:00:00.002-04:00

Surgery!

For my first clinical rotation I won the lotto and got the most demanding and time consuming rotation. So I will be taking call about every 5 days and some weekends. There may be no ne posts until August. Wish me luck!

For the record..

2008-05-26T19:17:00.002-04:00

This question keeps coming up so here is the answer.

NO I am not a resident. No I am not and intern.

Here is how med school works.

You are a student for 4 years

Your first two years are in a classroom. This I did in Grenada.

Then you take a big licensing exam to prove you are not an idiot. This I have also done.

Then you spend two years doing clinical rotations (like Carter/Noah Wylie when he first arrived on ER) Then you graduate and get your MD.

The good news is that you stop paying tuition. The good news is also that they don't let you practice medicine on your own yet. You become a RESIDENT. A residency in internal medicine lasts three years. The first year of residency you are known as an INTERN.

For those of you who are still confused I will post this in a year or so when the question comes up again. :-)

2008-05-26T09:11:00.002-04:00

Yesterday Larissa, Niko, Shade and I wandered to downtown C______ to check out a little bakery cafe coffee house I spotted.. While inside I found a flier for an open poetry night, so I sat down at my desk to see if there was anything recent I could bring to read. Shade paced in small polite circles under the new desk until I remembered that she needed a bed down there, thank you very much, so she could sleep at my feet.. What I found wasn't recent.. 2000 was a good year for poetry for me.. and I haven't produced much since then. Blogging it seems is a poor excuse. :-)

But here is an old friend.. appropriate for memorial day I think. Happy Summer everyone.

Sometimes a Path is Just A Path

I walk out into a restless summer twilight
The long, narrow, urban wild space behind my house
Broken windows-- faint shards glittering
Weeds, grass, an abandoned car

The long, narrow, urban wild space behind my house
Tastes like wilderness on the skin
Weeds, grass, an abandoned car
Evening’s caress under a canopy of elms

Tastes like wilderness under the skin
Grass journeying from soft green to sharp pale brown
Evening’s caress under a canopy of elms
Skinny wisps of cloud, almost velvet blue-black sky

Grass journeying from soft green to sharp pale brown
Arms out straight, hands open, eyes starring ahead
Skinny wisps of cloud, almost velvet blue-black sky
Little bits of earth leap onto my sandaled toe

Arms out straight, hands open, eyes starring ahead
My horizon: house, sky, dirt, and driveway
Little bits of earth leap onto my sandaled toe
Shadow of a rose bush, shadow of lilacs, the path

My horizon: house, sky, dirt, and driveway
Feet obscured, I trust my step
Shadow of a rose bush, shadow of lilacs, the path
just a direction --a smoothing of the way

Feet obscured, I trust my step
Fill my lungs with the evening air
just a direction --a smoothing of the way
This is what I have learned about the coming night

Fill my lungs with the evening air
Broken windows-- faint shards glittering
This is what I have learned about the coming of night
Walk out into that restless summer twilight

Warm Welcomes........

2008-05-25T19:53:00.004-04:00

I have been drinking tea from the tea pot and Tea cup from the set of dishes Trishka gave me..

I am sitting in the chair, writing by the light of the lamp Steven and Kelley gave me

I sleep in the bed and put my clothes in he dresser Molly helped me put together

My shoulder are warmed by the delicate lace shawl Larissa started in Grenada and finished here in New Jersey.

I am grateful to be so well cared for

East from the Pecos....

2008-05-25T19:39:00.007-04:00

It all started with another road trip… this one into distinctly alien country. Although I pride myself on being able to traverse most of the western states without a map or GPS this was the mother of all road trips.. cross country to the Eastern seaboard. So of course I started by driving south.. to the southern California high desert and mountains.. to cherry valley to see the indomitable Aunt Billie and to see my Dad up in him forest home. After a short visit I headed west, resisted the temptation to stop at the grand canyon and landed at Chris and Lisa’s for a few days in the big turkey (that’s Albuquerque for the uninitiated) I attempted to clean out my storage unit but didn’t quite make it.. a few pieces of furniture that hold sentimental value holding me back. About a year and a half ago while I was still in Grenada I got the news that this storage until had been broken in to. I couldn’t remember much of what I had stored there.. But what I did worry about was still there.. artwork by friends, my Japanese teaware… Some things I had forgotten about were gone.. notably the Pentax K1000 SLR film camera I had been using since I was 17 and had been still using and shooting film with just before I left for Grenada. Any other feelings of loss and violation at was taken--- my bicycle, a television, a dvd player.. has been tempered by the fact that those things would have cost almost as much to move as to replace.

My friend and classmate Tri met me in Albuquerque and from there we caravanned east.. drving our own cars but landing in the same spot each night. Three days.. about 700 miles per day give or take. No less than three states a day, although that number picked up on the east coast… Knoxville TN to Ringoes NJ took us through Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, Maryland Pennsylvania, before we got to New Jersey. Free breakfast and working WiFi became the standard of comfort… and the somewhat scary motel six in Oklahoma became the standard of discomfort… The bed linnens and towels clean but more worn than I have ever seen… The mattress noticeably bowing in as I lay down. Tri and I carried in EVERYTHING from his open bed truck.. including a large carpet, a chair and a kitchen table.

Oaklahoma is also where Shade refused to get out of the car... after so many miles and so many new places to sleep.. she was just done with change.

I do have that distinct feeling of immigration again. This is not my culture and yet it is. I found myself sitting in a natural food co-op in Princeton last week, drinking tea eating vegan oatmeal cookies while the ladies at the table next talked about the sex lives of their grown children.. This could have been many places in the western United States but it was not, and not just the narrow tree lined streets told me so. If my neighbors haven’t figured me out yet, they are getting close.. I got strange looks from two impeccably dressed elder ladies looked me up and down as I walked back to my apartment barefoot after having run down to the parking lot to help Larissa (with her beautiful tattoos on display) and her baby boy Niko find my apartment. And I don’t even start at the hospital until Tuesday.

On the road... In "the Big Turkey"

2008-05-03T23:58:00.004-04:00

Photos to follow as soon as I find the little cable thingy that connects the camera to the computer..

And appoligies to the Santa Fe folks as I am not venturing much north of I 40

I had a quick visit with Dad and Aunt Billie in Cherry Valley

I am in Albuquerque staying with the ever gracious Chris and Lisa while I sort through the detritus of my life. Some more stuff went to the salvation Army today...some clothes that don't fit and some framed posters. The Japanese tea pots, Cliffy's cast iron frypans and the real art I own have all made it into the trunk to stay. A few stray boxes .. framed photographs, a few cookbooks including my vintage joy of cooking.. are now mailing themselves to New Jersey. Greyhound called today.. My luggage is there but I am not.

I know I am in New Mexico because my hands, lips and feet are all chapped and my face is a little wind burned. It has been a little cold ... a great excuse yesterday to get not so much done and let Lisa spoil me... breakfast at the Range (Huevos con Queso!) Iron Man at the stadium therater.. TWO NAPS.. Green chile sausage pizza. and the Jane Austen Book club on DVD. Today Serena came down and rescued me from the dust and doldrums of sorting... We went to Kelly's brewpub with Shade... I had the green chile feta burger with sweet potato fries and wheat beer and caught up when nobody was firing up their Harley's .. But it is almost summer here and we were outside a converted auto dealership on old route sixty six and so they day would not have been complete without a few motorcycles.. right?

In the land of the Beats… before I hit the road….

2008-04-26T10:24:00.012-04:00

After I finished studying for the USMLE I made a couple of attempts to update the blog..
One penned at café barrone got totally wiped out when my copy of Microsoft office crashed
So about a month?! Ago I wrote…
“First, there are the naps, there have been many naps. And of course there is the obligatory fantasy novel provided by the Palo Alto library. And then there are the walks, many walks, as Shade is terribly behind in her grass rolling activities.. (see video below). And I have some very important MONKEY related items I have been crocheting… in addition to trying to teach myself how to crochet in an aran pattern (not to hard except I have chosen some cotton yarn out of my stash to practice with and it is terribly unforgiving) So, belatedly, I thought it was time that I put something on this blog to update you all on what I have been doing since December.

The Logistics are fairly straight forward. In December I finished my first two years of Medical school, and with that I finished both the majority of my classroom basic science education and my time in Grenada. I spent most of the winter studying of the USMLE (United States Medical Licensing Exam, Step 1, more on that later) and took the exam a couple of weeks ago. Scores should arrive in a couple more weeks. I will move to New Jersey at the beginning of May to start the clinical portion of my medical education, and I will train in some very fine hospitals, no doubt treating many folks with whom I share a mitochondrial genome. (Okay that means in the area where my mom’s family is from.. the proceeding statement is more straight out geek than medical geek I think, also inherited from my mother who is the only person I know who has actually had her mitochondrial genealogy tested, but I digress….)”

And then I stopped writing and proceeded to run around like a crazy person. No wait, scratch that… Earlier this month my Mom and Magda went on a cruise for ten days and I sat around the lovely condo and crocheted and talked to no one…

Then Serena came to visit. We went to point reyes and ate apples and cowgirl creamery triple cream mt tam cheese on a perfect windless day and watch the shinning pacific wrap itself around limatour beach's golden dunes…, then next day we ran around palo alto, braved the ikea and washed down a stunning prosciutto, arugula and crescenza pizza with a beautiful santa cruz pinot noir. And we talked and talked.. After Serena left, M&M came back there was a week of birthday celebrations for My Mom.. dinner at Ginger’s, luncheon with the ladies of Everett house at the country club.. I was the only attendee under 70, and then there was the surprise.. We put my mom in the car and didn’t tell her where we arere going. By the time we hit the east bay she figured out we were taking her to Calistoga for a massage and the mud baths. So when my brother showed up from Tennessee un-announced at the restaurant in Yountville she was really surprised. She in fact said “Jesus Christ!” in an immoderate tone of voice and started to cry. After a dinner at Ad Hoc and the most amazing creamed corn I have ever tasted, we put Zoe the cat and Shade the dog in the car and headed for the Anderson Valley.. stopping at our two favorite wineries on the way to figure out what to drink with diner. Zoe decided to wail nearly the whole way, but Shade had a lovely time running around the lawn at Navarro vineyards while we drank a bottle of Whole food 365 Sauvignon Blanc and ate more cheese. My brother Bill sadly had to leave that day, but we lingered in the redwoods.. It was a grey but it was nice to see the Anderson valley covered in spring green and wildflowers..
We arrived back Tuesday and on Wednesday I catered Mrs. C’s 96th birthday. Another neighbor of my mom’s was there and when he told Mrs C that he was 93 she told him “oh, you are such a child…”

Now yesterday, I took my car in for a break inspection and my Mom’s mechanic pronounced that it perhaps had a 25% chance of making it across the country…

Mom has helped me with the manic search for a car that will hopefully get me across the country and through residency. We will hopefully seal the deal today. Yesterday evening after running around the South bay car shopping.. we then drove to the city to see the San Francisco Ballet with no small amount of trepidation. We were fairly convinced that we would fall asleep actually. But we had a great Thai meal, bolstered our energies with chocolate and coffee at Citizen Cake and went to see program A of the new works festival. The first two ballets were stunningly good… whirling dirvishes reinterpreted by a young Russian choreographer and a work by Christopher Wheelodon, a former dancer himself still in his 30s who just left the New York City Ballet to form his own company.. We drove him made giddy and giggly by the performances. And I got to see Damian Smith dance.. amazing and not hard on the eyes either….

Somewhere in all this I forgot that is was my Dad’s birthday.. and so I make my apologies Dad.. I know that you aren’t sentimental about these things but happy birthday a day late..

And so gentle reader I marshall my forces to head south then east. Hopefully I will be posting from the road..

No, for your other baby you silly people...!

2008-04-23T23:58:00.002-04:00

I may not have been blogging, but my crochet hook has been very busy

Me and My peeps go to Dallas to study for the USMLE

2008-04-23T23:05:00.008-04:00

What is it like to drive 2000 miles to live in a hotel in a strange city for 6 weeks with your dog and study for an exam...... Here are some selected images and memories.

Feeling less than enthusiastic about the hotel that was next to a freeway and down the road from condoms togo and a head shop...

Awesome dim sum with John and Amber

The epic journey to the grassy knoll with Candie and the peeps...

Tossing the Frisbee in the parking lot during breaks.

Chicken friend steak and other white food for lunch

The joy of whole foods

Spending every evening dictating my notes into my computer, spending 7 hours a day in lecture, and getting up at 5 to listen to my tapes again.. then studying all day on the days off.

Hanging out at breaks with Shade and tiffany.

The cold that never seemed to leave the crowded classroom

Talking politics with Ara and Sylvester

Discovering that the SGU folks really were the best and the brightest....

The best professors so far in my medical educations including....

"why do they write such twisted convoluted questions? Because if they could communicate normally they would be real doctors working with patients instead of bitter professionals with enough time to write national board review questions..."

The low ceilinged cramped ball room/ teaching facility with no stage for the professors that was small enough that a fellow classmate who sat in the front row told me she felt like telling one of our instructors to "get your old man penis out of my face..."

"I am bipolar.. I go off my medication every time I teach.. hypomania has its uses...."

Seven weeks.... and then I came back and it got worse..

Just studied all the time. Told my friends not to call.. But the good news is I got a really really good score. I was with good people. We all worked hard got the job done. I am looking forward to NJ... to living in my own place instead of a hotel room. And to seeing these folks again

Rollin rollin rollin, get your doggie rollin!

2008-03-26T23:54:00.002-04:00

Still Obsessed

2008-02-15T14:46:00.002-04:00

Hi Folks..

I am still in Dallas, with about a week to go before I finish the review here. Based on the Falcon idealized post workshop study timeline, I moved my exam date to March 22. I am good, Shade is good, and we will be heading back to California a week from tomorrow, but really won't be available for anything social until March 23..

I will try to have something exciting and pithy written about this experience soon there after, but have a feeling that I will instead feel like I have emptied my cranium with a mellon baller.

Time to get back to the drugs XOXO

Same old (new) place, same deal

2008-01-27T11:27:00.000-04:00

I know I know I know.. long time no post

What the heck am I doing?

It is call The United States Medical Licensing Exam Step One or USMLE

It is an 8 hour exam that proves my fitness to embark on my clinical rotations and ranks me with US grads. So I am 3 weeks into a 7 week prep course being held in a Dallas hotel. We are in lecture between 4 and 7 hours a day and I spend the rest of my time, you guessed it, holed up in my hotel room studying. I am taking a few hours off today to explore downtown Dallas, but class meets six days a week most weeks and days off are opportunities for review. I feel confident, not worried about failing but not so unconcerned about my ranking that I don't always think I should be studying just a little bit more. Shade is here to keep me company. My class ends February 23, and I sit the exam March 13. And then it will take 6 weeks to get the score.

It should have really sucked, but then it didn’t

2007-12-31T22:26:00.002-04:00

The sucky part

• trying to negotiate my huge bags off the baggage carrousel one handed, the other arm in a sling and realizing that the first place no one offered to help me was on us soil

• the ambulance ride with the dislocated and broken elbow before the meds kicked in

• the burglar in my room at 3 am whispering don’t holler, I’ll kill you

• the landlord who hadn’t contacted me for 4 months threatening to have me held at the airport and shaking me down for $600

But wait I am getting ahead of myself

First of all I am writing this from a Starbucks in Palo Alto. (for those of you from the bay area who know me, and are wondering what the hell I am doing in a Starbuck when I could be drinking Peet’s… it is next door to a best buy that is putting a new radio in my car..) I finished my last set of exams at Saint George University and with them completed my basic science years of Medical School and with them I have finish my time in Grenada. I will be starting clinical rotations in a hospital in New Jersey starting in May. In the mean time I will be heading to Dallas for most of January and February to attend a boot camp style USMLE prep course and I will be taking step 1 sometime around the first week of March.

Leaving Grenada was a little rough. Two days before my last exam I slipped and fell on a muddy slope with my outstretched left arm behind me and dislocated my left elbow. Luckily I was at the Grand View and surrounded by fellow medical students who are medical professionals trained in other fields. My friends Chris and Chris took me first to the student health clinic, then by SGU ambulance to Grenada General hospital. I only started to worry when they started to apologize for the fact that they weren’t allowed to give morphine here as they would have in the US.. so the trip to the hospital was less than fun as pot holes are unavoidable. I would tell you more about what actually happened at the hospital but as time passes it is becoming more and more vague no doubt due to the amnesiac effect afforded sedative hypnotic I was given when they set my elbow. Chris F. absolutely refused to leave me at the hospital, even though he, like I had an exam in two days. All I know is the emergency room doctor seemed to be a bit annoyed by his presence at first and then by the time my arm was set they seemed like old friends. The doctors are very good in Grenada, and they do a tremendous amount with very limited resources.. so the room where my arm was set had cement floor painted around the periphery and worn shinny where folks walked, wooden shelves, was open to the “fresh” air and the gurney on which I laid was bare foam with a piece of vinyl sheeting laid over the top. It was wonderful to know that Chris was there keeping an eye on the preceding as I gratefully zoned out when they shot me full of the sedative.. I also received a nifty retro plaster cast. If you want to know what happened between me getting shot full of pain meds and getting the cast, you will have to ask Chris. I don’t really remember…

I went home that night and had trouble falling asleep. My room was in a building on a hill, with a second story balcony overlooking the ocean. I woke up to see someone in the chair by my desk near the sliding glass doors. I thought it was my friend and neighbor Christine who had helped me get ready for bed somehow back in my room. But no. It was the burglar who had been making the rounds of the Grand View. People keep on asking me if I was scared and I wasn’t. It is quite possible I was too medicated to feel fear.. but all I could think was that he couldn’t possibly do me much harm before I could scream loud enough that my mixed marshal arts loving neighbors and their dogs would come and put him in a world of pain before he could make me hurt worse that I already did. As it was all it took was me yelling once or twice and he was out the door and over the balcony.

Selected highlights of the next few days include.

The breaks going out in my car as Christine drove it to help me at the hospital where I was waiting for a re-check the next morning

My mechanic Phil, the original stand up guy, coming to pick up Christine, the staying with me at the hospital until the doctor saw me, and then letting Christine drive his car and then driving mine using the parking break back to his shop.

Patsy doing all my laundry and cooking many meals for me.

Peggy doing all my packing

Writing my way to an A in Pathophysiology 2 days after dislocating my arm.

Paying my landlord the damn money but demanding that she be removed from the approved landlord list by the dean of students.

Dancing with my cast at Club Karma on the Caranage for the big going away Party..(see photo.. see the big smile on my face...)

Drinking wine at 2 in the afternoon and watching In Her Shoes with Peggy and Mooly my second to last day in Grenada

Taking 4 flights in December a week before Christmas with my arm in a cast and having an empty seat next to me in all but one of the flights…. So that gets me back here to the states.. My California exploits will be detailed soon.

But why didn’t most of this suck? why wasn’t it terrible? Because the friends I have made at SGU were so unflaggingly kind, helpful, and supportive that I never felt burdened. I felt well taken care of. And what better end to a period of my life could I have then having my friends show me how much they cared. What else really matters?

Schedule

2007-12-10T09:49:00.000-04:00

I am writing the pharmacology final at two today, will write my last final (pathophysiology) on Thursday. I will be walking into Grenada Cable and wireless on Friday and and having the internet connection shut off. I fly into Philadelphia on Monday the 17th and from there back to Palo Alto for three weeks before heading to Dallas for my USMLE prep course. The email doesn't change, but my ability to check it will after Friday 12/14. Once I hit the states I will be reachable at my old New Mexsico cell phone number.

Are you pooped a little just reading this?... so am I. But I am also excited. About everything.

This Morning's Rainbow

2007-12-07T09:49:00.000-04:00

Last Lecture

2007-12-06T17:39:00.000-04:00

I just went to the last scheduled lecture of my basic science years.. the last lecture I'll have here in Grenada. Dr. G. a psychiatrist from BC gave it and he is one of the best lecturers I have ever had the privledge of listening to. I feel happy and wistful at that same , with that strange swirly feeling in my belly letting me know my life is about to change.

In case you wondered

2007-11-30T08:17:00.000-04:00

Yes I did feel the eastern Caribbean earthquake. I was sitting in the Bourne Lecture hall chatting with my friend Jose during a lecture break and felt my chair gently sway beneath me for a good long time. No damage here in Grenada though.. all is well.

Last Round(s)

2007-11-26T12:24:00.000-04:00

Here I am with my intrepid clinical medicine group on our last day of rounds at the hospital. I really must say I got very lucky getting assigned randomly to work with this group of people. No big egos were ever on display, we worked hard and supported and learned from each other.. And had a good time. The doctors who taught us were uniformly patient and good teachers. It is time for me to get used to that white coat, it will be the uniform soon enough!

Time is flying

2007-11-24T06:23:00.000-04:00

Medical students do strange things to turkeys this time of year. The injection method worked really well actually. The turkey was for my first of three thanksgiving diners.. this one here at the Grand View, tonight I'll be celebrating with Molly at her home (Named "The wild Orchid" or so says the plate on the outside of the house) And then I will be cooking another turkey for another thanksgiving at my buddy Lenny's house on Sunday. For a lot of us, this is our last chance to get together before we are scattered to the four winds.. many folks are leaving right after exams..
Yesterday I went whale not watching with my friend Kira and some other folks. We saw a nifty bleach bottle on our four hour cruise but no marine wildlife.
The time and tides are changing.. quite literally. I woke up to the sound of surf this morning.. the seas are generally so calm here I don't hear the small waves that lap the shore down the embankment from my hotel. But today I hear them. I leave for the states three weeks from Monday. Two more scan-trons to fill out here. Two years in the Caribbean gone.. didn't I just get here last week?

Good news about Shade

2007-11-10T08:49:00.000-04:00

Shade has had her last chemo treatment and has come through with flying colors. There is no longer evidence of cancer in her bladder, although there is still some problems in her urethra. All in all though, it is the best possible news. Kudos to my Mom and Magda who have sheperded her through her chemo in my absence. Keep your thoughts and prayers for her coming!

Long time no post, again

2007-11-10T08:35:00.000-04:00

Yup was studying for another round of exams. They went fine. My dashboard widget tells me I have 37 days left on the island. It does feel a smidge like I have been living in a episode of lost. It has been raining a lot here and I have been holed up in my room watching videos and thinking about the fact that I don't have any winter socks, or shoes, or clothes that fit since thank god I have lost weight since coming here. Mostly it is the socks though. I am a little worried about the sock thing. I have had the Ac up high enough that I need a sweater. I have been drinking lots of tea. I think I have been practicing for a season that is not summer.

I am feeling strange about repatriating, enjoying my last days here at the grand view ( that's my place top floor and 4 balconies in) I have been looking for sublets in Manhattan where I will be taking a USMLE prep course this winter and it seems as bizarre and surreal a concept to me that I will be living on that island as moving to this island ever did. I will have some tentative news about where my clinical placement will be for my third year of medical school in early December, although it is my understanding that nothing is for certain until I walk through the hospital doors. My clinical rotations should start around June 1st 2008.
And as everyone said I can't believe how quickly it all has gone. If you are doing your math you will note that I will have a couple of months off between taking my board exams the first week of March and starting clinical roations in the first week of June. I would be perfectly content to spend that time visiting my far flung friends should my little dog and I be invited for a visit. So if you would like to see me this spring, invite me around and I may just show up.

What's so funny about the WGA strike

2007-11-10T08:11:00.000-04:00

In a world full of big problems, like a president who again seems to be beating the drums for a new war while the media seems more intent of the race to replace him the television writers strike perhaps seems like not so much of a big deal. But speaking as someone who is getting close to concluding yet another expatriate experience I feel especially well equipped share the brave new world I have seen. I get almost all my media via the internet. I read the NY times online, download the daily show and tv dramas on itunes and listen to NPR on podcasts, and I do it all on my schedule, not a a schedule predetermined by a radio or tv station. I can’t imagine going back to broadcast. Why that is important is what is really at the heart of this strike as I understand it, that writers get paid for any profit made from web content. And I firmly believe that the folks who write all those tv shows I have been watching on my laptop should be fairly compensated.
TV may not seem that important, but speaking as an unrepentant do-gooder, I will tell you that TV is part of the picture that has helped me stay sane and happy, so I can face the rigors of medical school at the young age of 43, persevere and go on to do good. So 5 years from now, when I am that really cool doctor who you can’t find in the office because I have run off to somewhere in Africa on some infectious disease project or I am in Peru working on nosocomial TB transmission, good TV writing will have been part of what got me there. And you would no doubt find me curled up in the evening with downloaded episodes of the Daily Show and whatever Joss Whedon has decided to put on the air

Here is a link to a website in support of the WGA writers--- there you will find links to petitions, addresses to send postcards to etc..

http://www.fans4writers.com/promote.shtml

For a funny and erudite look at the strike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer mastermind and second generation Hollywood scribe Joss Whedon click here:

http://whedonesque.com/comments/14650/

To think some deep thinky type thoughts about the nature of writing, free speech, and how as a nation we seem to be blithely stripping ourselves and others of their civil liberties read this:

NY times - Guantanamo by the numbers

And now in honor of the real work that writers do, I will give the keyboard a rest...

Molly & Me and the Sunset at the Grandview Pool

2007-10-16T07:18:00.000-04:00

Molly is my USMLE step 1 study buddy. We are taking the KAPLAN class together in Manhattan in January and February. I imagine there will be very different photos of us then..

My Weekend, My Friend the Cowfish

2007-10-13T22:40:00.000-04:00

I am now a little more than two months shy of completing the Caribbean portion of my medical school adventure, and even though I am a little more than two weeks shy of next round of exams I grow to appreciate this place more each day. The weekend has been typical so far. Up at 6 and at my desk by 7. I had a hard time finding my study mojo.. e-mailed friends updated my (gulp) facebook page picked up someone at the airport… Did laundry, had a banana peanut smoothie and shopped for school supplies while my clothes dried. I went to see my mechanic, the fabulous Phil, who tirelessly chases down electrical problems in my car and who had the muffler re-welded in place after I had knocked it loose. Tomorrow I am back at the desk by 6 am I hope, breaking at noon to swim for an hour with Lenny (who has providing all the nifty under water shots) after which we plan to go over pathophysiology with a couple of other folks (Chris and Chris__ I will be surrounded by men) until we collapse in exhaustion or our brains drip out on the floor. It is 10:30 PM and I am almost ready to quit studying for the night but will feel better if I cross another data point off my list. Maybe a quick spin through the TB pharmacology packet.. I wish I could say that would put me right to sleep but I actually think it is kind of cool.
Rumor has it that we will be getting a list of available clinical centers on Monday. I have an ugly scary and official type USMLE step I application to fill out online so I can pay $700 for the privilege of sitting down for 8 hours and disgorging the entire contents of the first two years of medical school curriculum via multiple choice questions that reflect only obliquely my ability (or lack there of) to perform in a clinical setting. As they say in Jane Austen novels.. what joy is mine. This is why I need to visit the fish. By the by.. all the pictures are on the beach that is a 5 to 10 minute walk down the hill from my place. Jealous? Nah.. you have to be a weirdlett like me to want to study this much.. and to think that TB treatments are almost as cool as the fish..

fish, me pretending to be a fish

2007-10-08T20:40:00.000-04:00

Words of Wisdom offered to the Second Year Medical Student

2007-10-02T10:12:00.000-04:00

"You don't know yet how unclear medicine is......."

J. Lawrence; DVM, MD

As you may have guessed..

2007-10-01T07:36:00.001-04:00

I have been studying for exams. I am taking Pathophysiology and Pharmacology this term. Exams went well, and time is flying. I have seen not a few spectacular sunsets from my balcony, and had not a few good nights out with friends. I am not entirely sure what happened to September. Ten weeks from Friday I am scheduled to fly home.. even though I am not entirely sure where that is anymore.
At the grand view if I want company for a few minutes I generally walk down to the pool and find some within a few minutes.. Hospital visits have been revelatory, and help me remember why I am here.

FAQ

2007-09-03T16:18:00.000-04:00

For the record, I am almost half way through medical school.. and will be done with my basic science education in december and will be starting my clinical education in the spring...

The rest of this info is cribbed from Wiki but accurate....

The standard U.S. medical school curriculum is four years long. The first two years are composed mainly of classroom education, while the last two years primarily include rotations in clinical settings where students learn patient care firsthand. Upon successful completion of medical school, students are granted the title of Doctor of Medicine (MD, if they graduate from an allopathic medical school) or Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine (DO, if they attend an osteopathic medical school). Upon graduation, physicians who plan to independently care for patients must complete a residency which is a supervised training period of three to seven years. Physicians who sub-specialize or who desire more supervised experience may complete a fellowship, which is an additional two to three years of supervised training in their area of expertise.

A medical intern, in the context of medical education in the United States, is a historical term for a physician in training who has completed medical school, passed step two of the USMLE or COMLEX-USA, and is undergoing his or her first year of post-graduate training (PGY1). An intern in the medical field has an M.D. or D.O. degree, but does not have a full license to practice medicine unsupervised in the U.S. In other countries medical education generally ends with a period of practical training similar to internship, but the way the overall program of academic and practical medical training is structured differs in each case, as does the terminology used (see medical education and medical school for further details). Interns have a reputation of being hazed and mentally harassed by senior residents, veteran nurses, and attending physicians as part of their "trial by fire" training. This often may involve verbal and emotional abuse, sleep deprivation, overwork and excessive scut work and other forms of intimidation in the name of "medical training". There may also be unethical economic reasons for the overwork of interns and junior interns.

Residency is a stage of postgraduate medical training certification in a primary care or referral specialty. It is filled by a resident physician who has received a medical degree (M.D. or D.O.) and is composed almost entirely of the care of hospitalized or clinic patients, mostly with direct supervision by more senior physicians. A residency may follow the internship year or include the internship year as the first year of residency. The residency can also be followed by a fellowship, during which the physician is trained in a sub-specialty.
Whereas medical school gives doctors a broad range of medical knowledge, basic clinical skills, and limited experience practicing medicine, medical residency gives in-depth training within a specific branch of medicine, such as anesthesiology, dermatology, emergency medicine, family medicine, internal medicine, neurology, obstetrics and gynecology, pathology, pediatric medicine, psychiatry, physical medicine and rehabilitation, radiology, radiation oncology, and general surgery. The field of surgery has several specialties such as neurosurgery, orthopaedics, otolaryngology, ophthalmology, and urology.
In North America it leads to eligibility for board certification.

Good-morning Felix, Watch out Curacao

2007-09-01T10:53:00.000-04:00

I thought the weather last night was a little extra exciting. In my new place I can open my eyes and look south west over the ocean. There really is no place like the Grand View Inn for the Grand View.... Last night at about 4 I awoke to the sound of torrential rain and the sound of the sheet metal roof under duress. By 7 the power had gone off.. And seems to be out for all of Grande Anse and much of the area around the highway, although not in Lance Aux Epines. Seems a Tropical Storm formed over the island or damn to close to it. It is moving west now so at least I am not worried that we will be hit by it. And I am safely snuggled in the pathology lab with a cup of coffee happily streaming some lectures (lectures are now digitally recorded, and I can follow a web link, watch and listen to the lecturer on one half of the screen and view the power point presentation on the other half... pause at any time to repeat or catch up. Very cool. Can't believe I ever went to college without the internet...) I need to review. It is air conditioned enough here that I can even pretend it is cold outside. Kind of neat to have a tropical storm form over my head and to be inconvenienced so little...

this from the Weather Channel:
"Meanwhile, Tropical Storm Felix became the sixth named storm of the 2007 Atlantic season early Saturday, forming over the Windward Islands in the eastern Caribbean. The storm was expected to strengthen over the next 24 hours, forecasters said.

At 5 a.m. EDT, the storm was centered about 30 miles northwest of Grenada, according to the National Hurricane Center. It had top sustained winds of 40 mph, just above the threshold to be a named storm, and was moving westward at about 18 mph.

Felix was expected to move away from the southern Windward Islands later Saturday morning and pass near Aruba, Bonaire and Curacao by evening or early Sunday, forecasters said. Tropical storm warnings were issued for the islands of Aruba, Bonaire and Curacao."

God I am going to miss Grenada

2007-08-31T14:30:00.000-04:00

My classmates can smell change in the air and they can’t wait to go home.

But as I sit on my desk to look out over Mourne Rouge Bay from my seat at my desk, wondering if I can squeeze a dive in I know I will miss it here.

Today I started my clinical medicine class and spent the morning in the office of an Internal Medicine doc. I worked with 3 other students, we took a history, presented to the doctor and gave our impressions. It felt good. Oddly the patient was almost exactly my age, had a host of problems.. and so the challenge was figuring out where to start.

I have been fighting off some sort of sinus infection, started having a little self pity party that morning about how hard it can be to be a medical student (at my age). It would make a better more believable story perhaps if I told you I took that history , saw what my life and my health could be at this point and realized how lucky I am. That is not what happened. What happened is I got lost in the work, the patient, my fellow students, the wisdom of the doctor who I was working with, and I forgot about the ache in my head and the weight of lectures un-reviewed, drugs to memorize. And it felt good, felt right, felt like I was stepping into myself in a way that I have been longing to do for a very long time.

All the discontent came back of course, almost as soon as I got back in the van to go to campus. We had some really good lectures today (more on that later) and I just got sulky again. I tried to give myself a little break, watch a movie, and I got crankier. But sitting here at my desk, looking at the sunset, and bearing witness to my up and down day has settled me into myself, my scratchy throat, my Neurology notes and the beautiful beautiful Caribbean night, my sense of purpose and rightness has returned and I move on.

Still Catching up from summer

2007-08-24T09:22:00.000-04:00

So I came home to the states to find that almost everyone was talking about a movie called Once, and that of course my always in the know friends Michael, Sylvia and Gina had not only seen and heard of the musicians featured in the film but were planning on going to see them just before I left.
And so it came to pass that I was able to see Glen Hansard & Marketa Iglova in the intimate setting of the Noe valley ministry on a cold and foggy San Francisco evening.
The night started with an inexpensive and excellent meal at a Ethiopian restaurant on Valencia and a quick trip to the pirate store. (Glass eyes on sale, scurvy 1//2 off.. and all to support a writers project housed in the back of the store)I had never heard Hansard & Iglova before, nor had I seen the movie and I could not imagine a more perfect introduction to their music. It was just the two of them, Iglova on piano and Hansard on acoustic guitar and they were engaging, humble and skilled. The music was magical.. Hansard even invited one of the younger concert goers on stage to dance while he sang a silly song about Bananas that he wrote for his niece.

Hansard and Iglova stayed after the concert and signed CDs.. Once had yet to be released in Euroope and they seemed a little stunned by their new found fame and by the size of the venues that promoters had been offering to have them play in. If you want a treat I recommend that you all go out and buy their CD the Swell Season today

Part of What I wrote to Kristi

2007-08-20T20:12:00.000-04:00

But perhaps interesting to all ?!.......

What is new is the new place. I have moved back to the Grand Anse area into a hotel where a lot of my friends live. I have a studio.. a hotel room with a small kitchen but I do overlook the lovely Caribbean. I am sitting on a friend's porch at the moment, stealing wireless because he has a direct line of sight to a local hotel that has a unprotected network.
The place is smaller than my old one, but the location is much nicer.. 5 minute walk to the beach and an ocean view from my room.. Less isolated too, I know all my neighbors. And a pool The pool is quite lovely, even if a rat drowned in it the other day. (It was fished out and extra chlorine added... all is well)

I am having a hard time kick starting my semester. Generally the teaching faculty seems much better, the pathology department was just awful, but pathphysiology seems much better (I have no idea why they split it like that). Pharmacology group this am was great.

Shade seems to be doing fine at my Mom's although the second chemo hit her harder, she didn't eat for a day. I am and am not looking forward to going back to the states.. I have built up quite a nice support network of friends here and we are all going to be cast to the four winds... ANd I will be doing my Kaplan cource in NYC starting in January.. somehow finding a place for me and my little chemo dog. Then, if I am on schedule, I will take step one around the middle of March and start clinical the middle of April. Intellectually I know I'll be fine. But this rainy evening it just feels like too much big scary change. I certainly have worked through several levels of desire to see new things and meet new people and live new places. I am hungry for something I can call a home.

More Updates from the land of sweat

2007-08-13T14:06:00.000-04:00

Although I am sitting waiting for my first class to start of my last term in Greada, I am just getting around to posting the super cool photos I took of Mendocino. Currently Shade is touring the area with my Mom. I had a lovely short trip there this summer. Mom and I went up for a couple of days and then we were joined by Michael and Sylvia, at which point we discovered Michael disturbing tendency to hog all the utensils for himself.
We had several fine meals and some great and some not so great wine tasting experience. Navaroro vinyards was great as always, but it was more than a little sad to see the wine tour limo outside. The Anderson Valley sure has changed.

My new favorite is a small Vinyard named Claudia Spring Excellent Pinot Noir.

Update: Back in Greneda Safe and sound

2007-08-12T12:10:00.000-04:00

So I still have some catch up posts from this summer to put up but for now the news is:

I arrived safe and sound in Greneda last tuesday.
I will be moving to the Greneda Grand View next tuesday where no fewer than 10 of my friends will be living. It has a pool and I can run the AC all the time and looks like this:
http://www.grenadagrandview.com/rooms.htm

Shade seems to be handling her chemo just fine. This report came from my Mom today:
Shade had her second treatment and all is well. A
little spit up this a.m. and maybe a little tired, but
in good spirits and good appetite and full of
woo-woo-woo's. So all is well.
We will go up to Mendocino this week so won't be
around tomorrow.

More post to follow about my california summer adventures and continuing Grenada adventures.

Day at the ball game...

2007-08-09T13:17:00.000-04:00

My friends Michael and Sylvia arranged for me to get some quality baseball time at the phone park in San Francisco... on summer of love tee shirt give away day no less... The tee shirt was ugly as sin, but hey, free swag is free swag. We started the day in a great little breakfast plate where Syvia and I shared a plate of Crab Cakes and eggs,... God I love San Francisco. As you can see it was a beautiful day, clear and warm. The giants lost in the 12th inning (jumbo economy size baseball), because their whole payroll is tied up with a certain now infamous player who broke a record a day or two ago. He hit no homers that day, but we enjoyed the day and the game immensely.

A note about Shade

2007-07-12T20:00:00.000-04:00

A few of you have had questions about Shade and about how she is and how the treatment will affect her.
First of all let me reassure all of you that it is not my intent to prolong her suffering through invasive treatments. The chemo she is set to receive is supposed to have few if any side affects that are often seen in humans. If the treatment recommended would have caused her anything more than minor discomfort, I would have made a different choice and worked to make sure that she was comfortable until she could no longer be made comfortable and then provide her with a peaceful exit. Indeed, there will come a time when the chemo is no longer effective and that will be the general game plan.
Some of you have also politely asked how I knew there was something wrong if she was acting so normal. Shade has had a few minor instances of vaginal bleeding, no more than you would see with a dog in heat but then again Shade has not had a uterus in 12 years. So investigations were made, and the pathology confirmed.
She has learned to work on Mary and Magda quite nicely who are willing share things like morsels of bacon and steak. I will probably have to change her name to Botulism because she is getting so spoiled here. Walking around downtown Palo Alto with her is like traveling with a rockstar, with many folks admiring her obvious cuteness. And of course, there is all this wonderful California grass for rolling, much better than Greneda. All is well

2007-07-07T10:50:00.001-04:00

Japan town with Mr. F.

Several of my heartfelt desires were met last night when I drove undulating bay hills of highway 280 as the fog rolled over the crest of the peninsula’s spine to the city (San Francisco for the unenlightened) and got to spend the evening trolling around Japantown with Dan. THE Dan of the shoe blog fame. and he brought the twins, the lovely Clarkes that he lovingly blogs about at:
http://www.danfinearts.com/Site/The%20Shoe%20Blog/The%20Shoe%20Blog.html
Well Dan, the twins and I had quite an adventure. I was searching for a wedding gift for a friend, but the shop we were interested in closed almost as soon as we got there so we had to content ourselves with the Japantown version of the dollar store. Dan, who I have know for more than 20 years and who shares with me some friends I have known for more than 25 years (what up Jonathan? glad to hear you read the blog) also spent a year or more in Japan during his well spent youth. He was looking for hello kitty moonbeam pies I believe and found the motherload of Pocky sticks. What are Pocky sticks you might ask? Pocky sticks are the chocolate diped cracker sticks I became obsessed with in Japan. And they have branched out since I left. Aside from the classic chocolate version, there was Tahitian vanilla Pocky, strawberry Pocky, chocolate coconut and almond crunch Pocky, and “men”s” Pocky. And then there was the Sanrio store. I am now the proud owner of a Hello Kitty Pez dispenser. There were shops full of the strange and familiar objects of Japan. Dan happily understands that eating Japanese does not necessarily mean sushi (not that sushi is bad, just that there is so much more!) and Dan slurped his soba (appropriately) while I broke my carb fast for a lovely bowl of udon.

And walking between buildings I actually got chilly once or twice, a novel experience I often dreamed of in Grenada. Dan kept on asking me if Medical school was making me happy and I had to confess it was. If not precisely happy at all times, I feel damn lucky to have gotten to do this at this point in my life and sure that I am on the right path for me. I know that not everyone gets that lucky, so I am grateful. But it is good to be back in the states, a little easier everyday to see myself living in Brooklyn, and lovely to connect with old friends.

2007-07-07T10:44:00.001-04:00

I have some sad news about Shade, my friend and companion of almost thirteen years. Although we are waiting for a final pathology report to confirm it, she most likely has transitional cell carcinoma of the bladder and urethra. The good news is there are some treatment options that will not cause her to suffer but that will extend her life for a year, perhaps two. After a long talk with my Mom and the blessings of her partner Magda, I have decided to leave Shade with them for the fall term. Although I want to keep her close to me now that I am more forcefully reminded that I have limited time with her, she will have better continuity of care here, not be subjected to the stress of travel as well as live in a cooler climate with folks who are home most of the day and who can monitor her more closely.

For her part, her energy level is normal and she is in no pain. We went on a lovely three mile walk the other day. There is lots of cool grass to roll in Palo Alto and she is making friends with a Bichon in the building. She still keeps a close watch on me., as that is her job. We will miss each other while I am in Grenada, but I am confident that I will return to a dog who is still in relatively good health who I can love up for as long as she is healthy and comfortable in this world.

On The Road

2007-07-02T22:12:00.000-04:00

It is one of those clear and cool New Mexico mornings. The air is dry and smells of the good adobe earth sage and chamisa. I am sitting in my friends stunning lovely guest house in Tesuque, a small cottonwood choked community a small winding dirt road banked by tall adobe walls that shelter either humble family homes or the large elegant adobe manses sheltering some of the finest art collections in the country—so I know I am not in Grenada.
I am sipping tea and listening to Scott Simon on national public radio. And I am actually listening to the radio, not to a downloaded podcast. I cried like a baby when Scott Simon talked of traveling to China with his wife and first daughter to adopt a little baby girl, Shade looking at me, cocking her head to the side and doing her best imitation of the RCA radio dog. If she was stressed by her journeys to get here, 8 hours in her crate on the Grenada to Miami leg and a stunning 11 hours in her crate on the Miami to New Mexico leg two days later, she did not show it in any way. I would leave a barky shivering dog in the crate and receive a calm and instantly happy bouncy dog as soon as she was released from her kennel.

I did not stay in the Miami of the sleek south beach nightclubs and trendy restaurants. I stayed in Miami Springs, a suburb near the airport built in the 30s.. and explored the local malls, strip and outlet alike, ate my meals at chain restaurants and had a day or two on my own to absorb the busy onslaught that is life in a major metropolitan area in the US. The great wash that is commercial life of the US seemed to flow over me in waves. Not unlike re-entering the world after a Meditation retreat, I was acutely aware of how consistent and forceful is the tide of commercial stimulation in the US. (“What did you expect”, a friend later said, “you are back in a fascist corporate capitalist state.” Ahh.. it is good to be home….) My SGU friend Natalie baby sat Shade for a few days and put her on the plane with her own dog Sunny, and followed us to Miami the next day. It was great to have someone to help share the expenses and dog transport duties with. Natalie, like me a left handed Grenada driver, remained calm when I wondered out loud if I was driving on the correct side of the road and shared my joy in the simple pleasures of walking around a Walgreen’s and being able to get a Starbuck’s coffee.

But luckily here in New Mexico I can do better than the chains. Arriving late I stayed in Albuquerque with Chris and Lisa and got to go to my old favorite the Flying Star for breakfast. Eggs and good coffee and homemade green chile turkey sausage.. the simple choice following a plethora of choices that I would never see in Grenada. Clear clear clear blue skies. Hipster Central Avenue in Albuquerque, replete with rocket scientists and homeless heroine addicts alike. I wanted to crawl into the bakery case and take a nap or alternately order one of everything. Talking with Lisa and Chris it was is I had never left yet I know I am somehow essentially changed and essentially more myself than I have ever been. It is good to be Sa again. My SGU friends know me as Sarah. Ironic that now I am answering to two names again.

Shade has found many patches of cool green grass to roll in. She seems happy to be here but keeps a close eye on me. Mommy is traveling and needs extra close watching. I can’t argue with her.. I feel better with her keeping an eye on me, she helps me feel like I am home.

Limboland

2007-06-25T20:43:00.000-04:00

Well I am back in the states, cooling my heels in a Comfort Inn in Miami waiting for Shade to arrive on tuesday. She had to fly on a shipper rather than with me on American because American has instituted an embargo on pet flights. She is staying with a kind friend who will put her on a plane on Tuesday and she may even fly directly here without experiencing the joy of San Juan airport as I did.

I looked for a cheap car to rent and got some strange upgrade for the cheap price and so I am driving around Miami in a strange 4 wheel drive cherry red humvee wanna be kind of vehicle A dodge Nitro. I feel a little bit like I am profiting from ill gotten gains, but the thing is only costing $20 a day

Basically I am bored enough that I googled a picture of the rental car to share with you. I have had several novel experiences after 11 months out of the states. I went to starbucks. I had a venti soy chai (as god intended) I have eaten both a nectarine and some cherries. Tv is the same. I have been to a couple of malls, but they seemed more overwhelming than enticing, and I find myself wondering how people who live here deal with the constant onslaught of stimulation.. and then I realized I used to be one of those people.
Medical school is changing me. Living out of the US again has changed me. It is difficult to put my finger on how, or to provide a rubric for you my dear old friends, but I know I am irrevocably changed by the last year and a half, and will continue to change.
The nice thing about being stuck here is that it gives me some re-entry time. To relearn context that doesn't haven't anything to do with constant study, exams or whether the grocery store has milk or eggs that week.
There are stories to tell, I am looking forward to telling them.. and hearing some stories in return.

Path

2007-06-19T18:51:00.001-04:00

See that stack at the left. Those are my notes. For one class. For one term. That class was pathology. It is done now. Whether I made it through with my sanity intact is debatable. I should probably apologize right here and now to my parents who would faithful call me every week even though I was frequently grumpy and totally lacking in what Jane Austen referred to as "conversation."
But in the long run, I made it through this term and my grade point average should even go up a little, if not by a stunning amount at least I am not staying in Grenada an extra term. Pictured below are some of the fine folks who made it all possible. This is what pathology lab looked like. (and no, there is no requirement that you wear a white tee shirt and jeans or shorts to pathology lab, its just the unofficial SGU uniform) Three or four days a week I would get together with these ten folks and we would each present one or two or three slides that had to do with the material we learned. The afternoons were long, we were all tired. Sometimes the tutors sent to help us were kind, sometimes they were not. But my group was always kind to each other, well prepared, humble and inquisitive.
What little sanity I have left is thanks to them. And to my ever steady and kind study partner Chris, who cheered me through every melt down.. of which there were not a few.
My next to last exam is tomorrow, a clinical skills exam and I fly to Miami on Sunday, shade to follow on Tuesday. Then on to Albuquerque on Thursday next.
I have that flippy floppy feeling in my belly that tells me big change is on the horrizon and that is not hard to see, one more term here in the Caribbean and then it is back to the states to study for board exams and then off to clinicals. I am looking forward to some day in the not so near future to finding a comfort zone and staying there for a little while for once.

No comment.....

2007-06-04T13:12:00.000-04:00

Don't know how else to say this but to say it.

2007-05-31T21:18:00.000-04:00

Hey folks--

Shade and I will be flying in to albuquerque on the 28th on June and we will both be looking for a place to stay for a couple of days. It is a package deal and shade is not an outdoor dog. If we do not receive any offers, we can get a motel but I thought I would ask.
Update! The kind and generous Sara and Tom Easterson Bond are allowing me the use of their guesthouse while in Santa Fe. Yay! Thank you!

Also Shade came down with a weird tropical tic born disease last month. (Anaplasmosis) Although she has fully recovered it is making me rethink the wisdom of bringing her back to Grenada in the fall. Some of you have offered in the past to offer her a temporary home. I will be here for about 18 weeks. If any of you would like to re extend those offers we might have a chat.

Thank you all again for your love and support.
Sa

Molly's Birthday

2007-05-28T14:13:00.000-04:00

I am actually much happier than I look in this photo..huge zit on my face and all... Really a lovely evening

Too bad the views are a bit limited here in Grenada :-)

Everyone but Peggy at Peggy's birthday

2007-05-27T08:45:00.001-04:00

Yes I am still breathing

2007-05-26T12:41:00.000-04:00

A little of a rough week, just feeling overwhelmed. But the general silence is indicative of me just studying my little hinny off. The actual effect on my posterior is the opposite but... :-)

Lets see. Fourth term continues to be the 8 to 5 show in classes and labs most days... and trying to convince myself I am not too blistered to study at night. The fabulous Peggy and Molly both have birthdays this weekend and I went to a nice beach side picnic with the girls to celebrate with Peggy. There was wine and pizza and a sunset we all missed because we were chatting too much. And then my Italian men friends Lenny and Chris continued with their quest to prove who makes the best stuffed artichoke(Lenny's involves lots of breadcrumbs, Chris's involves parm and bacon). Tonight I have a very (not) sexy study threesome set up to got through nutrition notes and tomorrow night we are off to the Grand Beach resort to celebrate Molly's birthday. Today I am deep in renal notes.. tubular necrosis etc...

I am back for my whirlwind summer tour of the states on June 24. Natalie and I are tag teaming our dog transport and as a result I will be spending 5 days in Miami. Then I fly back to New Mexico, visit with folks there for a few days before heading off to California, both north and south, where I will spend most of July. Then I head east, stopping in Detroit and New York to check out clinical centers as I will need to choose where I end up by September. I also hope to visit with the east coast family and friends while I am there. Further updates to follow but will be diving into exam mode again soon so no promises.

What's new..

2007-04-23T22:41:00.000-04:00

1. advanced clinical skills kicked in 3 weeks ago.. a class where I learn wack stuff like how to check for vital signs, cranial nerve function and thyroid function.... whoda thunk I'd learn that stuff in med school
2. no more cricket
3. I have put in 9 solid hours of study today since classes ended at noon. It is 10:44 pm. I worked in a shower. Doesn't feel like suffering. brain hurst tho. fairly typical day.
4. So I don't blog much and I am aware that most of you are not aware that I was due to move to a different Caribbean island in August to continue my studies. Unfortunately the crime rate in said Caribbean island has increased dramatically and when given the option recently, 80% of our class has decided not to go to Saint Vincent, so now the whole class is staying here. It means that I get to walk out of my apartment in late june and walk back in 5 weeks later. Sweet. And Shade can come with me, she was going to have to stay home.
5. Shade had a nasty skin infection though so she might not be overly grateful. She is on antibiotics and pain meds and feeling much btter, back to herding me right and left. SHe says "WOO WOO" which I translate as time for bed. After all I have some lovely microbiology notes to curl up with.

Ciao (der)

The hours of my day......

2007-04-23T18:23:00.000-04:00

This just in, No "Real World, Grenada"

2007-04-20T09:06:00.001-04:00

Dear Chancellor Modica,

After a long discussion this evening, the Student Government
Association voted overwhelmingly against the motion to have GO GO LUCKEY
Productions film the "docu-drama" at St. George's University. Many
students discussed the potential for the program to reflect badly on the
university as well as the students. Additionally, the issue of privacy as
well as distractions inside and outside the classroom were discussed.
After considering the past projects the producer, Austyn Biggers, has been
involved with, including "Hottest Mom in America", some students believed
that the intentions of the network and/or producer may not have been
presented completely. Although there were individuals who believed that
there was some potential for the university to gain good exposure and
publicity, the students believe the negative aspects could potentially be
more damaging. They were concerned that they would be identified during
residency interviews and elsewhere as "attending the school on that
television show". Finally, the students were uncomfortable with the fact
that the final decision of what was to be aired by the network was not
clear, and that this could potentially be problematic for the university
and those students involved and not involved in the filming.

The Student Government Association would like to thank you for
considering our thoughts regarding this decision.

Sincerely,

Matthew Tichauer
President
Student Government Association
St. George's University

Dear Matt,

Thank you for your prompt attention in this matter concerning the
docu-drama proposal. As I indicated during our SGA rep meeting on Monday
evening, I had been persuaded by the production company to feel comfortable
in proceeding with this project mainly because they had already visited
other Caribbean schools and yet clearly stated that SGU would be their
first choice. That provided assurance that they were primarily looking to
film the best students at facilities that were comparable to those at a US
medical school. In other words their actions were speaking along with
their words.

I also indicated to you that we could not be certain of that outcome and I
asked you to reach a decision with the SGA on this matter which I would
consider a "veto power". You have done so, in less than 48 hours, while I
was flying back from Grenada. I appreciate your swift action. I respect
your decision. I am proud to work with the SGA in another instance of
meaningful student involvement at SGU. I apologize for the time that was
taken out of your busy schedules to accomplish this.

The producers will be informed of our decision not to proceed. Please
convey to all those who participated in this decision my utmost gratitude
for their time and thoughtful deliberations in this process.

Charles Modica, JD

White or Brown Toast with that.....

2007-03-23T19:27:00.000-04:00

This is your brain....

This is your BRAIN ON MEDICAL SCHOOL

GET IT?!

As if Pathology wasn't enough

2007-03-23T12:37:00.000-04:00

The murder and mayhem filled Cricket world cup will be coming to Grenada in early April.. I will keep you all posted if there are anymore game fixing murders.......
More info at:
http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/americas/03/23/cricket.death/index.html

By the way

2007-03-21T16:42:00.000-04:00

I have heard from a good authority that white people don't actually talk anymore, they just text message.. more details to follow...

Things that make you go um

2007-03-19T15:36:00.000-04:00

“I stopped counting how many times you said “um” when I got to 50” Chris told me when I asked him just how stupid I sounded in path lab today.

Pathology is generally very interesting, and path lab can be alternately enlightening and debilitating. You present one or two slides and answer a set of pre-determined questions and then a clinical tutor gives you feedback. Some are gentle. Some are not. I thought I was exceptionally well prepared today and I got my ass handed to me. I used to be articulate back when I was a liberal arts major. In some circles I was none for my ability to keep my cool and speak articulately under pressure. Not today.

First of three exams in Path is Monday March 26, and the micro midterm is Friday March 30. Keep me in your thoughts.

Same no posting, different flavor

2007-03-14T16:21:00.000-04:00

Okay I wasn't posting before because my social life improved. I don't post now because 4th term started. 19 credit hours.. all day in class and labs.. minimum of 5 to 10 hours of study each night. Skin infections in microbiology this week. Neoplasias and Infarctions in pathology. I Study, eat, shit and sleep (rough order of priority) That is about it. Ticket home is June 24. Might not surface much before then..

Word of the day

2007-03-08T17:55:00.000-04:00

dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source

au·tom·a·ton [aw-tom-uh-ton, -tn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun, plural -tons, -ta [-tuh] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation.

1.	a mechanical figure or contrivance constructed to act as if by its own motive power; robot.

2.	a person or animal that acts in a monotonous, routine manner, without active intelligence.

3.	something capable of acting automatically or without an external motive force. Coming soon to an HMO near you....

Geese What

2007-02-27T16:05:00.000-04:00

Okay so I haven’t been posting mostly because things have sort of gelled for me here in terms of a support network, friends, activities places to be etc.. And because I was in my short A(six week) third term not too heavy a work load, but exams every two weeks. Gina came to visit and my wonderful friends Deanna and Robert were in town. I got to go out to diner with the chancellor (see photos) spend more time at the beach etc. Today we had our first real pathology lab, 2 hours straight of slide presentations And case studies and I kind of felt like I had my ass handed to me. So do you see the pattern gentle reader? I don’t generally post unless I am extra thoughtful, sad or somehow vexed.. But I digress. Well I came home to take a nap and could not help but think of this poem by Mary Oliver. The images do not quite fit the Caribbean but the sentiment is right. I know I’ll do fine be fine and perhaps even better than fine, I just need to let go of my notions of perfect and enjoy.
Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Long Time no post

2007-02-04T17:34:00.000-04:00

Okay you scurvy scoundrels….

So I have been getting some calls recently to see if I am okay, and although I have been busy with visitors and the pace of the new term (an exam every two weeks!) it has been gratifying, until I figured out why all these folks I haven’t heard from in months were contacting me.

I haven’t updated the blog since 2006.

Well since 12/31/2006

I have been busy, but you all could just write me once in a while to let me know you read the damn thing instead of worrying that something is wrong because I don’t post.

I am taking human behavior right now so I could tell you a little somfin somfin about a man named Pavlov and his dogs… ☺

Oh well, nuff said. Enjoy the picture of the night out with the girls at the beginning of January.. More updates to follow…

Shadowfax Snorkel Cruise

2006-12-31T16:02:00.000-04:00

With Mom and Sheri...

Out and about around the island

2006-12-31T15:55:00.000-04:00

With Mic, Natalie and Larissa

Shade and her buddy Larissa at the Beach....

2006-12-25T13:21:00.000-04:00

She missed her friend, and would not leave her side... or at least would not leave her towel.

The Big Christmas Eve Bash

2006-12-25T11:19:00.000-04:00

There were no eggs in the grocery store so no egg nog. And I ran out of gas to run the oven in the middle of the Christmas eve roasting fest so I have been going over to the vacant apartment next door. But Christmas Eve was lovely none the less. We feasted on Roast Beast, Turkey stuffing mash and various side dishes. Sheri had coordinated a large group pf ex-pats and found us a lovely house to dine in. Perfect.

Why you shouldn't

2006-12-25T11:12:00.000-04:00

try to take a cherry christmas eve photo of yourself and your friends after you started in with the rum and cokes.....

Four Blonds walk into a small Lance Aux Epines Apartment

2006-12-22T15:25:00.000-04:00

It is due no doubt to all those years at the Zia Diner trying to keep my food budget in line, but I do my best work as a chef when I use what is at hand. The red peppers and chicken I was given by departing friends turned into Angel Hair pasta Al Arribata with chicken and rosemarry. The puff paste and ripe pears turned into a lovely little tart that went just fine with coconut and mango ice cream. There was wine curtesy of Nichole, Sheri and their Moms, and a good time was had by all.
It never ceases to amaze me how hard it is to train new people that I really do enjoy cooking. I really want to rip off the head of each and every person who has ever said to me "No, no, I don't want you to have to cook.. let's just go eat some crap somewhere else" Well, that last part is what I hear in my head, and I find it EXTREMELY vexing. Now the chowder clan and my family I have mostly trained. And Nichole and Sheri are quick studies. They never turn down a meal made by me. This I like.

But that brings me to Christmas. First of all there is the problem that the collective wisdom is to celebrate on Christmas eve-- which in fact makes the event Christmas eve dinner not Christmas dinner but I digress. And then there is the fact that a potluck has been proposed. And face it, Pot lucks are ALWAYS culinary disasters. And then there is the problem that I am not in control of the meal, which also vexes me. But I could have stepped in and run the whole show. But I am learning to let go-- stay behind the scenes like my little dog. I am only cooking the turkey and roast beef. I have absolutely no control over the wine choice, side dishes or even, dare I mention, the selection of condiments. But I am learning, growing through this experience. And I know I'll be a better person for it.

BSCE -1

2006-12-22T15:23:00.000-04:00

I think it stands for "Basic Sciences Comprehensive Exam"

Anyway I passed it.. Yay! and beat the class average Yay!

Year one of Medical School is offcially done

Airport Fun

2006-12-19T19:06:00.000-04:00

I delivered the last of my friends to the airport today, the less enlightened of whom mistakenly believe that I will be suffering here because of my decision not to go back to the states for the three week holiday. This is actually the first night in a week that I haven’t had plans to go out and it is a welcome luxury to be home and to be watching old Star Treks on TV. In fact I have been home so little that my faithful four legged companion has been acting out. She has been getting in the garbage and leaving me unwanted deposits around the apartment. Thank god for tile floors. Tomorrow I think we will spend the day on Shade time.

Perhaps because they pitied me, I have received the entire contents of many departing students freezers, as those folks who live on campus have to empty out their fridges before they go. The result is pictured at left. I seem to be the odd person out at SGU: everyone else seems to have a boundless love for frozen broccoli that they have passed on to me. And pre-shredded cheese.

Peggy went home today toting three bottles of rum and six packages of cock soup mix ("Always a great Christmas gift!" she volunteer cheerfully); in fact I think I just heard the air Jamaica flight rumble over the apartment. My car has a strange electrical problem, and not only has Peggy loaned me her car in her absence but her mechanic is chasing down every little niggling problem that I have had with my car from the get go saying, “don’t worry, it won’t be too much and you can pay me when you have the money” A good reliable mechanic is a thing of beauty in any country and I think I have found one. Peggy and I have been going for long morning walks, I’ll miss her and Ian’s company as I work my way around Lance aux Epines tomorrow morning. But she and everyone else will be heading back in a little over two weeks.. time flies when there are no classes.

Tomorrow? I have a rare luxury. No plans. But I do have several good books, a small dog and many beautiful beaches to choose from. And of course, a near endless supply of frozen Broccoli.

Day at the beach

2006-12-17T12:52:00.000-04:00

So I am not really sure Peggy likes me. I did ask her not to leave give me the cookies. Because I was going to abstain from alcohol and only eat leaves, shoots, nuts, berries this Christmas and cookies are not on the list. But there they were in the bag with the rum.
That was before I lost the bottle of rum. And that was yesterday. I haven’t written about yesterday yet and then there is today.. But I digress. Let me begin with the visual aids and the full story of day three, my Caribbean Christmas vacation..
The day started leisurely enough with a few runs to the airport… Pictures at right are the lovely Christine and Nada (yes the Nada of What Nada’s shirt said today fame) just hours before her departure. After the airport run it was off the beach for the afternoon. Shade, you will see has decided that she is too delicate a flower to sit on the sand and so she squeezed onto the towel with me, no doubt channeling the spirit of Bippy, my family dog from childhood, who had great battles with my Mom over her place on the blanket after river swims in Mendocino.
Then after attempting a nap and being woken up by a man selling aloe vera (how is waking me up a good sales technique?) I was joined by Christine, Natalie, Peggy and Ian.Shade then decamped to sit with Peggy and Ian, because babies with Gold fish crackers are worth sitting in the sand for. Peggy and Ian and I enjoyed some time in the water. And as you can see, Ian, is the most beautiful boy on the island (I have quite a crush) and he has been to NYC and learned how to flirt there and has no doubt inherited his good looks and quick wits from his mother.
And then lest you worry, faithful reader, that my days in the Caribbean are not Christmassy enough, it was off to the store in my soggy pants to get the final ingredients for the egg nog. Now the nog purists among you will insist that I should have started my nog in October, and let it sit in my fridge heavily laced in alcohol and getting stronger by the day, but alas I was in class then and did not have time to make the nog. But make the nog I did and I was off to Peggy’s for Chicken Tikka and Rice and Gin and Tonics and to watch It’s a Wonderful Life. Dinner was followed by Peggy’s home made cookies and the nog.. because what else would your drink on an island that exports both nutmeg and rum? I only lasted until about 11 pm.. or 2 of the 3 hours of the broadcast time of the movie, and so was happily able to go home to doze through George’s trouble and wake back up near midnight for George’s enlightenment, so the requisite lip quivering, throat clearing and cheek dampening could happen in peace and without embarrassment in the privacy of my own home.

Caribbean Vacation Day Two

2006-12-16T12:06:00.000-04:00

It MUST be the delayed jet lag.. because I keep on waking up at 4:45 in the morning.. this despite the fact that I went Christmas shopping in Saint George’s yesterday, spent time on the beach with friends, went to happy hour at Prickly bay Pizza, home of the leathered retired yacht dude and a wicked rum bunch.. only 5 EC during happy hour (US $2) and then continued the evening at Stewarts my favorite bar on a dock anywhere with all the girls and Lenny in tow. My Christmas tree now has an ornament on it and presents underneath.. how festive!

Now I have had many important things on my mind that I wanted to blog about, like why there is seating for twelve in my tiny apartment, but I just can’t seem to muster the brain power. All the premium movie channels are free this weekend, I have plans to meet Peggy and her son Ian at the beach, I found a reasonable eggnog recipe online and it’s a wonderful life is on the tele tonight. Further reports to follow.

My friend Molly.. always right to the point..

2006-12-14T20:49:00.000-04:00

So Molly, how did the exam go for you. "I feel like my brain was raped"
And how eaxactly to do respond to that except the truth..

I know what you mean I replied......

But I saw her later today halfway into a bottle of raspberry stoli with friends on one of the most beautiful beaches in the world... her pain was significantly reduced. I am headed to prickly bay tomorrow to celbrate with the med and the vet girls....

Carib beer only 3 ec. Flirty retired leathry yachters. Bad Pizza. No school to think about. What could be better?

2006-12-14T05:16:00.000-04:00

Well at least when I start typing this it is 4:45 am. In finals study mode and procrastinating you may ask?.. no not exactly. I took my last big final yesterday, came home and slept for 2 hours went home for dinner and crashed at 9. I think I am all slept out. I have the BSCE today, and end of your first term survey exam that is almost impossible to study for .. and I am too burnt out to care. I don’t think anyone studies for this exam… and I think more than a few folks will be filling in nice little Christmas tress on their scantron form.

Once again I am a straight B student, and for the second term in a row I kind of tanked the last exam I took.. and I am trying to stay with the bemused former academic professional part of myself on that one rather than the competitive medical student. Why did I tank that exam? probably because I was tired and stressed and had a high enough grade in that class that I wasn’t at all scared when I took the exam and so I most likely read the questions too fast, answered too fast. The funny thing is that I did the exact same thing on my last exam last term as well. Tutor, tutor thy self. Oh well. Bs are good. I have friends who were worried about just passing and I know at least one of them did. My friend Peggy, the bravest human being on earth because she is attempting Med school as a single Mom with a 15 month old, still has to take her final exam in anatomy and I am hoping to wake up enough to go through some exams with her today. But not until I have spent a few hours on the beach.

Larissa arrives in a week and a day and Mom and Magda arrive in two weeks. I find that I am looking forward to my Caribbean vacation more and more. I do have that strange kind of post term hangover, that sense of gee, what in the hell do I do now? My friend Christine and I went out for what passes for sushi here on the island last night. I think I’ll probably go out tonight as well. More interesting and fun posts about Grenada to follow.

Flippy floopy

2006-12-07T08:39:00.000-04:00

I woke up at 5:08 this AM.. and have mostly been hitting the books.. I am alternately hopeful and focused and restless and scared. I just ordered $130 worth of vitamins. Time is flying. My stomach makes regularly with the flippy floppy especially when I think the Neuro final is Monday, the physio final is Wednesday and that makes one more term done. Flip Flop. I've been sitting (meditating) more just to try to keep my skittery mind a little centered. My new study posse of Anna and Chris helps keep me focused. I have a small Christmas tree on my tele (what is it doing there? Standing apparently because I have no penguin and if you don't get that joke I am sorry if you do I am even sorrier).
A year of med school gone away. Flip Flop.

Time to get back to studying the limbic system instead of engaging my own.

What Janice's Shirt says

2006-12-01T09:57:00.000-04:00

Talk Nerdy to me.....

Heart of the matter

2006-11-29T16:53:00.000-04:00

Perhaps the most important thing I have learned this semester is that physiologist on this and that side of the pond do not agree on how the heart works. European physiologists think of the heart as a suction pump, and us physiologists think of the heart as a siphon. A basic concept.. how is blood moved around the body yet we can't agree on how it happens. I kind of like that. It takes me back to my days at the Zen center when I strived to achieve "not Knowing" as opposed to my days now that are filled with knowing more and more and more.
I hope that I remember that we can't agree on how the heart works, and just marvel every once in a while that it does.

One more final down..

2006-11-27T11:35:00.001-04:00

I took my parasitiology final this AM and I think it went fairly well. In two weeks I have the “big” two finals--- Neuroanatomy and Physiology, and then a year end comprehensive called the BSE. I have descended into study fiend mode, and won’t be up for air much before December 14.

When words are not enough......

2006-11-27T11:24:00.000-04:00

Finals

2006-11-19T18:53:00.000-04:00

I have one final a week from tomorrow and the two biggest in three weeks. My brain has kicked back into gear after midterms and I have been hitting the books hard all week. I feel tired, a little behind (always a little behind) but like I have been working hard all week.

Post will be infrequent from now until december.....

Happy turkey day to you all.

Sarah

Post Midterm Celebration Pictures..

2006-11-13T14:28:00.000-04:00

Thanks to my friend Christine.

The "bed" I am lying in with Molly is at a bar called Stewarts and is on a doc overlooking a harbour full of sale boats. The pretty lady in blue is Erika.

The Anis are back....

2006-11-10T08:19:00.000-04:00

Chittering away in the tree near my bedroom window. I went out onto the balcony and was able to snap this as the last one flew away. I also hear one of the hawks the live in my little valley sending out lonesome Kee Kee's this morning. Perhaps lizards are in short supply for breakfast this am.

My immunology Final Grade

2006-11-09T13:43:00.001-04:00

Yup, itsa B

Word of the day

2006-11-09T06:55:00.000-04:00

So I am reading about hypoxia, and I learn the difference between oxygen responsive hypoxia and oxygen refractory hypoxia. Excuse me, I think, refractory? So I look it up in my medical treatment and find the definition of refractory- resistant to treatment, intractable, obstinate. So why, being the good the deconstructing former UCSC scholar with too much french structural linguistics in her head that I am, can’t they just write about hypoxia that is responsive to oxygen and hypoxia that is not responsive to oxygen? Why the special word? I am beginning to feel like it is to keep other non doctor folk out of the club, you know using language that no one else understand to make yourself look smarter. In most cases I do not think it is malicious, it just habit.. like all the folks who watch Grey’s Anatomy saying the word seriously every other minute. Now every other word I read is refractory so I am starting a little revolution. In fact I am feeling rather refractory about it. It your word of the day.. it’s a shiny word. Use it. Refractory. Go on I double dog dare ya.

Stuff that doesn’t necessarily suck..

2006-11-06T20:34:00.000-04:00

The immuno didn’t feel like it went as well as I had hoped, but I feel good about what I did know about on it and the kind of problem solving skills I used. There was a lot more minute detail memorization than I expected (which receptor makes you crazy in the head CXCR5 CCL2 CD3 or the who the fuck cares about the third alternate name because if you aren’t doing research on it you need to be double checking those receptor names anyway) since this was supposed to be the exam that covered clinical material. The end message is I have a good functional background in immuno know and I know how to apply it.

And it is November. And I did spend my afternoon by the pool gossiping with friends and drinking wine spritzers. And the view from the pool was this one. SO life doesn’t precisely suck.

Gratitude coupled with Shameless self promotion..

2006-11-06T17:26:00.000-04:00

First and foremost I want to send a big shout out to Michael B and Sylvia B for continuing the unflagging support of my medical school career through a constant supply of postcards. Said postcard coordinate most fetchingly with my banana slug magnet and as such hold a place of prominence on my refrigerator.

Another big thank you to Larissa, Mom, and Gina who have all graciously offered to fill their suitcases with offering from the states when they visit this December and January, and to my Dad who is ensuring that I will be outfitted with peperidge farm stuffing and sees candies for thanksgiving.

In case it has not been entirely obvious, Midterm season has rolled seamlessly into final season as I take my immunology final tomorrow (Monday). And despite the fact that I neither left my apartment or changed out of my jammies yesterday (or maybe because due to the fact..), I am feeling a bit ragged around the edges and having difficulty regaining my pre-midterm momentum. As a consequence I am once again asking you, my faithful readers, to show me your support by sending me a postcard. Actually I am expanding this term’s campaign to include letters and small care packages. Some of you are already aware of my deep, unchanging and somewhat disturbing love for cool office products. Cool post it notes? Unusual paperclips? neat pens? shiny pointy pencils? send em on down. Your latest fave ipod mix burned onto a cd would also be welcome.

Playing Chicken

2006-11-01T15:39:00.000-04:00

I think I don’t have anything new or different to say to the folks back home and then I realize I do. Of course my immuno final is monday so this is yet again an advanced form pf procrastination. We never bothered to save our daylight here in warm and steamy Grenada so we didn’t change our time back this week. Still it is getting darker earlier here 12 degrees north of the equator and it has gotten cooler. I didn’t put my AC on for three whole days, and that is beginning to seem like a luxury. The other morning I decided to drive to school so I could do errands after class. (Riding the bus is generally cheaper, cooler and I get to listen to the local radio that often has a strange mix of hip hop, reggae and old US country music. This morning the DJ was playing and singing along with “Elvira” by the Oakridge boys. “Elvira, now that’s an unusual name! Come on everybody sing ELVIRA” ) Along the bumpy road to the main road, My neighbor Mr. Wilson who is a police man flagged me down and asked for a ride to the roundabout. He was heading into downtown Saint George and wanted to catch one of the local Reggae buses because there is never any place to park in town. He is the typical industrious Grenadian, a police officer who takes in tailoring and has informally adopted the SGU students along the road. He is also, he told me, the color guard for Parliament. There is a guy who likes to check students cars for change who seems kind of harmless, but Mr. Wilson chases him off with a few shots from his side arm any time he sees him. He told a group of us in our apartment to keep our lights on because “thieves love the dark” and he told us he wants to shoot the change taker guy in the foot so he can’t run away any more. Between Mr. Wilson’s 4 dogs, the mastiff I call cupcake who lives 2 doors down and the 5 other barkey dogs who live in the immediate area I feel quite safe.

After class I went on a little odyssey to find some frontline (a flea and tick treatment for shade). They were out of it at the veterinary teaching hospital so I drove down to Hubbards.. a kind of a catch all home store with pet supplies and stationary. Driving past I cut through Mon Tout.. a neighborhood considerably less upscale than mine on a narrow two lane road where folks just park in one lane and you have to play chicken with the chickens and oncoming cars to be on your merry way. Lance Aux Epines is definitely the high rent district for Grenadans.. and even though SGU students think of themselves as poor and although most of us are living off loans, we import our US standard of living with us which is a lot of money by Grenadan standards. Mr. Wilson asked me if I would come back to Grenada to practice medicine and I told him the simple answer which is no. The truth is that I would like the opportunity to do that type of do gooder stuff, but I will likely have to take a job that will first and foremost allow me to pay my loans fast. Then I can run off to Grenada, South Africa, Darfur or my old hood in Albuquerque and put my medical training to good use.

What Nada's Shirt said last week

2006-11-01T08:25:00.000-04:00

"I hope you make more than I can spend"
My appologies for my tardy reporting:

To complete the picture you should know that when Nada complained "Where was I when God was handing out height" I commented that he had amply gifted her in other areas she replied "Yeah he gave me flotation devises instead"

What's New

2006-10-28T13:34:00.000-04:00

What is new? the truth is I don’t really know how to respond to that question anymore. I study. And sometimes there are new flavors to the studying. I have a final in immunology in a week. Typing that made my chest hurt a little. I have good friends. I am afraid to drive my car at night because some strange electrical problem causes one headlight to go off. What’s new is that it is 1 pm and I haven’t changed out of my pajamas yet.. no wait I did that last Saturday too. What is new is that I am embracing my deep womanly scent because I have not turned on the AC because my last electricity bill was $175 and I am comfortable at my desk with the fan on as long as I don’t move around much. What is new is that while hanging out with my classmates Natalie and Christine, I met a very drunk and somewhat entertaining man named Chicken and his buddy Phil. Natalie lives at the grand view hotel at grand Anse, and when I heard how much she pays for her one bedroom (About the same size a little more run down) UTILITIES INCLUDED I am considering a move. There is a pool at Grand view, where Christine, Natalie and I were pretending to study and where we met Chicken and Phil and where Phil, who was as drunk as Chicken and maybe a little peeved that he could not flirt as vigorously as Chicken because his wife was standing across the pool, pushed Chicken into the pool with no warning. Chicken then got out of the pool, complaining vigorously about his two ruined cell phones, and proceeded to remove his pants and break dance on the pool side asphalt. Thank god he had swimming trunks underneath his pants.

What is not new is the incompetence of the clinical skills program here. Once again they scheduled a lecture, and then changed the lecture to LATER in the month without telling any of the students. Only about 10% of the class showed for this one, I imagine that the final turn out will be less than a dozen people out of a class of 350. Later that same day I went to a patient interview small group where many students were evaluated on criteria we had not been introduced to, and then our small group facilitator violated FERPA regulations, which this particular school has chosen to adhere to, by announcing our grades to the entire group.

What is also not new is there is no chocolate nor are there chips or cookies in the house . I once again made the unwise and dare I say foolish choice not to have snack food around the house while I am studying. My ass seriously needs a few extra inches of padding if I am going to sit on it all day, and the cantaloupe is just not cutting it as far as comfort food goes, even with a zesty spritz of Caribbean key lime.

But I have made some nice wall art out of the motor pathways printouts, and I enjoy looking at the tall grass outside my window move in the Caribbean breeze. I got to eat Thai food this week courtesy of Molly’s Half Thai boyfriend Patrick and my brain seems to be slowly kicking back into gear after finals. The visiting prof from UCSD who is teaching respiratory physiology is good, and Dr. Aziz, beloved for his clarity the clinical relevance of his lectures is teaching autonomic. Pretty interesting stuff.

SO life is good, not much is new. And if I get going on the immuno, I am just be able to justify flinging my self in the ocean in a few hours.
Chowder friends