So this is normal now
Molly & me in the Anatomy lab-- each body we look at an incredible gift of knowledge.
Living in Grenada.
The Beach, looking out at Saint George's Harbor.
Being a med student.
In some ways my life is remarkably like the one I had at home. I still wake up have a cup of green tea. I listen to the hourly news recap podcast from NPR—in this case yesterday’s news. I eat my oatmeal I read the NY times headlines. Other things are different. I am very cognizant how much easier it is to have only a room to take care of and not an entire house. SGU even hires a cleaning staff that comes in and cleans twice a week so that the only chore I need to do is laundry. I did buy some speakers when I got here so my computer is an all purpose TV, DVD player stereo and at times, thanks to voice over internet protocol and skype, a telephone. Apple should hire me to do a promo I am so happy with my little 1000 $ ibook. It kind of got me out the door and on the road to being here actually, when I would get overwhelmed at the thought of selling all my stuff, I just kept on thinking.. me, my dog and my ibook.. that’s all I need. And well Shade is coming ... and couldn’t be happier living with Janie by the way.
I don’t mind the meager furnishings, and the room is much brighter now that I have hung up the flood of postcards I received and found a way to hang the Frieda Kahlo cloth art thingy that Michael and Garnet got for me in Mexico. I don’t really miss much.. but there are things I am really glad I have—The pentel frost twist mechanical pencils I brought with me, the 300 thread count 100% cotton sheets, the Sarasa gel pens I had Mom send and the postit notes she sent on her own. I bought an extra pillow when I got here because god knows I need three on my single bed. I will fill a suitcase next time with organic peanut butter from trader joes. A fellow student sold me a good egg pan. I wish I had more dishcloths, which means I need to walk across the street and buy some. That’s it.
I am not, happily, burdened with regret for the lifestyle I left behind. I don’t think about my former life with longing or the advantages of my former career. I do not wonder why I am doing this to myself at this age because--- it is what I want to do. I do miss old friends. I am not as lonely as I was. I am developing quite a large circle of friends and acquaintances. Just taking my laundry down this AM I said hi to three or four nodding acquaintances. On Sunday I had brunch with one set of friends and hung out and studied at the covered tables on the beach and had dinner with another set of friends. What I
don’t have is friends who finish my sentences for me, who can tell my stories as well as I can as I can theirs. That I miss. But I am making friends that I will have for a long time I think. We will have this incredible and intense experience we shared that other people won’t understand or get fully. I am trying to remember that as I go through the moments on this day. Even the newness and strangeness I will look back on fondly some day so why not look on it fondly now?
I try and try to love that effort as well.
posted by Sa @ 8:38 AM
1 Comments:
My dear Sa, how I do miss you! I did the same thing to help make my apartment feel more like home--I hung up all of the post cards, birthday cards and Christmas cards that I'd received since moving here. The post card you sent (thanks, by the way) is in a very prominent spot on the wall near my phone. I think of you and smile every time I look at it. :)
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